"Taking himself seriously, so you don't have to."

Psycho-Sexual Ego-gasm

If self-gratification is the only real goal (say, empty sex for one with a partner), is the truth of the benevolence toward another “worth” more than the selfish motivation? If one offers that, yes, the act of benevolence is worth the self-gratification motive, it is because the act itself is the only thing “real”. Motives may be discerned through whatever methods (self-judgment or judgment-by-others or through critical scientific study), but whatever may be gleaned would be, at best, merely inductively likely, and more to the point, could not be deduced. We may make generalities about the motives of most people, but it is never more than a guess, at best. The “fact of the act” is what determines benevolence or malevolence. In the case of “empty sex” with another, so long as the partner enjoys this sexual act, there is little demeaning about utilizing it purely for self-gratification, so long as there is no deception involved. Take the case of one who rarely ever has sex for the anxiety that prevents relations with another, but has enjoyed “the act”, purely, in the past and at present. If a second party were to utilize this one toward “self-gratification”, it is still a positive act. The major stumbling block (besides knowing the other party’s thoughts) is that there be no deception; with deception, the act becomes obfuscated, and the person will feel used and abused if they find that the motive IS self-gratification. Some mention of the fact of “empty sex” must be communicated beforehand.

How that message is communicated, with what clarity, and how it comes to be utilized to perform the act itself, is the dance that divides the “player” from the “scumbag”, “seducing” from “creeping”, and interest from dismissal.

One Comment

  1. Hey, you’re the goto extpre. Thanks for hanging out here.

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